This morning Gonk came thundering down the stairs like a boulder trying to thwart Indiana Jones, completely ignoring his family members. There was a great urgency to depart the house and he didn’t have time for pleasantries. Gonk was indeed mildly ridiculed by his housemates for his haste and abruptness. A look of “I wish I was old enough to tell you all to fuck off” was thrown from the back door into the hallway. Then with the painfully slow unlocking of a door that does not bode well for the future when Gonk returns from the pub at 4am and tried to dock his key with the door, he was gone and the door was quite unnecessarily slammed shut. Off to meet his little bum chums no doubt. But then 5 seconds later, whats this? A swift return of Gonk. “whats up?” cried his barely concerned housemates. “um um urgh um nkjdnckdjnckcok” stated Gonk as he hurriedly scuttled through his housemates and made for the stairs. “yer what?” asked Mammy bear. “um um urgh…I FORGOT MY SHOES!”
Brilliant. A look of disbelief and sheer joy emerged across the faces of the housemates. How the fuck can someone leave the house without even knowing that you’ve not put your shoes on? Phone charged? Check! Instagram updated to let everyone know that you’re alive again today? Check! Youtube for breakfast? Check! Shoes? nah, fuck that.